Double standards

My first memory of it was when I was 8 and my uncle gave my brother, Ugo and me a box of crayons to share. The crayons were 15. I wanted to take 8 so Ugo could have 7 after all I was older but Ugo threw a tantrum and said he wanted 8. I ran to my mum and she said to me “Chinenye, let him take 8. He is a boy and you are a girl”.
I didn’t understand what she meant. If she had said “He is your baby brother”, I would have understood even though I wouldn’t give up that 1 crayon willingly. I would have understood.
But she said “He is a boy and you are a girl”.
You see, I’d never thought we were different until that moment. Sure enough I knew daddy always gave him a bigger share of the dried meat he brought home often but I always just thought it was because he was younger.
When daddy told Ugo not to help mummy cook anymore because the kitchen is a woman’s place even though Ugo loved it, I began to wonder.
I said to mummy “why can’t Ugo do what he likes? Does it matter that he’s a boy?” And she said “Nne it does. Some things are for boys while some things are for girls. That is the way it should be”.

In JSS1, I remember practising for weeks the points I would make during the inter-school debate I was meant to represent my school in. I was so excited. My parents were coming to watch me with a photographer to cover the event.
We had had an in-house debate in school and I had won the votes of my classmates beating Vincent 150-40.
On the morning of the event I was dressed in my cleanest, most ironed pinafore with my socks whiter than snow and my shoes so polished you could see your reflection in them. I got to the school bus only to be informed by the debate master that “Vincent will be going for the debate instead. We decided that he will do a better job because he is more confident and assertive”
I cried for days! Vincent that couldn’t even string a sentence together without a grammatical error. Vincent that couldn’t even look you in the eye when he spoke, “more confident and assertive”?. Of course my school lost.

I had worked at B&G Holdings for 7 years and I was due for a promotion. It was down to me and Segun Aina and everyone knew I would be the one because Segun had been in the company for a little over 2 years and hadn’t brought in half as much business as I had. It was a no-brainer, the promotion was mine.
When Segun got the promotion instead, I went to my boss and asked why. He said “Chinenye, you know you are a woman. Very soon you will get married and your family will become number one in your life instead of the company. Besides Segun will be a better representative. People will take him more seriously as the face of the company”.

All the inspirational quotes tell you to work hard so you can be successful. They never mention that you should be a man too if not you will live your life always almost getting to the top, always being second best even when in all honesty you are the best.

It’s been too long guys, I know!! Forgive me! This post is fiction but is inspired by Chimamanda Adichie’s “We should all be feminists” speech(I’m too lazy to get you a link but you can google it and watch it on Youtube. An excerpt of it is in Beyonc√©’s Flawless) and by my baby brother telling me “You can’t be rich unless you marry a rich man. That’s what I heard on Afmag” after I said “I can’t wait to be rich!”.

What do you guys think? Are there (still) double standards when it comes to men and women especially in Africa because I think there definitely are? What can we do about it?

P.S: if you’re ever looking for me, I can sometimes be found over at my hair blog. You can check it out here if you’re into that sort of thing.



Enter Title Here

It’s been a while!!!!! I wish I had some off the hook post to put up right now but I don’t ūüė¶

I was writing something actually and I¬†was going to put it up some time this week but my phone crashed and it had to be formatted so¬†I¬†lost the post I¬†was writing. Oh well, I’ll have to put it up some other time then.

So if I don’t have any post to put up,why am¬†I¬†here you might ask? Good question! Well,if you think about it,this IS a post! Despite the fact that I’m at this very moment typing God knows what, this is a post!

Actually,I’m at Accra mall trying to download the software for my phone that crashed and I’m¬†extremely bored so¬†I¬†thought I’d¬†come here and do a little cleaning of cobwebs and clearing of weeds before you guys’ll¬†think I’d¬†left Blogsville,I’d died or worse still, I was in kiri¬†kiri¬†prison rotting away. You thought so?¬†Tell my enemies you didn’t see me oh! No weapon fashioned against me shall prosper!¬†(oh crap,my download¬†just went from 34% back to 0%!!!! chai! My enemies are at work oh!!!! Which kain¬†tin be this na! Looks like I’m¬†going to be here much longer than I thought!¬†)

So since you’re here and I’m here and I’m still typing and you’re still reading,let’s talk about something before we all doze off! What do you want to talk about? sorry? I can’t hear you,please speak up… Twitter? Really? Are you sure? Okay!

Alrighty then,Twitter. Let’s exclude the verified accounts and Nigerian celebs and talk about normal Nigerian twitter.Right! So Twitter! The modern¬†day capitalist society as @barachelndions¬†once referred to it! (Oya go and google capitalist real quick and hurry back).¬† We have the bourgeoisie and the proletariat. I will use some illustrations to help you understand better. BOURGEOISIE:


BIO: Discombobulated Martian stuck on earth¬Į..(‚ÄĘÕ°.Őģ ‚ÄĘÕ° )../¬Į


TWEETS: 57,500



The ones that have followers in thousands.The ones that people are always retweeting and LOL’ing their tweets.The ones that people refer to in real life by their handles..The ones you have to follow whether or not they follow back ¬†for your tweeting experience to be complete,the ones you see all over your TL even when you’re not following them.The cool kids!..You get the picture.

Then we have the proletariat:


BIO: i¬†juz¬†want to c wat diz¬†tweeter z about.I finna 2 meet nu frendz.Add me up on your phone lets know eachoda.Facebook PIN: Horlarmeeday¬†HawtestInTown¬†Harbiordhun…BB PIN:289BHY54





The ones that people are always gbagaun’ing,the ones that are forever DM’ing people ‘hey can i gets to know you more?”,the ones that should still be trapped on FB,the ones that have eggs as avatars or pics of themselves wearing shades and posing in okija¬†forest,the ones always begging Donjazzy¬†for RT’s,the ones that spell “ambience” as “umbeyonce” and “nonchalant” as ‘none shallaunt’.

And eventhough¬†there’s no middle class in a real life capitalist society,twitter has that! Let’s call them tweeps:


BIO: fun,witty,reserved. I am who I am:)


TWEETS: 9,000



The ones that sometimes get their 5 minutes of fame by cracking a really good joke,the normal ones…

I like to think I’m¬†a tweep(My glorious God won’t let me snap pic beside guava tree wearing ‘Roy Buns”and use as avatar)…

Twitter is just…. Infact! So much freaking drama day in and day out! If it’s not an argument between Snapturians¬†and ubersocialites¬†or an argument about if buns is better than puff puff¬†or a twitfight¬†about who knacked¬†who for white BlackBerry torch, it’s¬†a scandal about who blogged about who or a¬†series of insults directed at Ms Barbie or Mr oracle¬†etc. sometimes¬†I¬†just stay in the shadows and just read my TL! I¬†must admit,Nigerians are hilarious! WOW! Things you see on twitter can keep you laughing for days! Sometimes I’ll¬†remember a tweet and start laughing in public and people’ll¬†think I’m¬†mad…. Rumours spread faster than herpes on Allen avenue…On twitter,people can make mount Kilimanjaro out of a grain of sand! If you doubt it, just tweet “please who¬†is Kanyin¬†West of Good music?Are she that girl who¬†won¬†idol West Africa?”…I swear,you’ll delete your account in the next¬†two hours! You might even need a face transplant to be able to walk the streets of Lagos!*checks download* 50% *sighs*

Some people tend to forget that twitter isn’t real life.Some take twitter way too seriously. Calm the hell down.¬†The moment you realize that you’re like that or you’re becoming like that, please stay away from twitter for some time!

Twitter is fun. Everyday there’s something to laugh about,to talk for hours about. Twitter can keep you entertained in the most boring class. Twitter keeps you informed,up to date. It’s the place where you can rant about irrelevant crap and find people that’ll listen and join in. Basically it’s where you can say what you want to say seeing as Facebook is full of family members and stalkers.

Sometimes I wonder if I would ever deactivate my twitter account and why. I wonder if twitter will become like Facebook and what new thing people would move on to if it did.

Well, for now,I’m¬†gonna ‘tweet in the moment’….(Ahn¬†ahn! Check out that ending mehn!!!!*runs off to check mentions*)

DISCLAIMER: Biko¬†I wasn’t referring to anyone in this post oh! If you think¬†I was, that one is inside your pocket.And if you’re taking this post P,na u sabi oh!…Thanks for reading :*

p.s if there are any mistakes or gbagauns,help me manage because I’m too tired and hungry to edit this post…Thanks