Goals versus the experience

Hey guys, 
I just dropped by to share some of my thoughts with you very quickly.
As I approach the 2 year mark (peep my countdown at the side/bottom of the page), one thing has been on my mind. Length! 
A major feature in my thoughts is “is my hair long enough for 2 years? It should be longer than this at this stage”. 
I’m going to share with you a quote from Okechukwu Ofili’s book, “How Stupidity Saved My Life: Life Lessons From An Overanalytical Engineer”

Unfortunately, it seems that as we get older, we lose that focus on fun. Instead, we focus on graduating at the top in college, being the number one employee at work, or being the best speaker in a speech contest. While all these may be commendable goals to strive for, what is not commendable is allowing them to displace the pleasure and excitement of the experience… We can all choose to embrace life more fully by moving our focus away from winning and instead enjoy the moment.

Let me summarize that quote in terms of hair: “Many of us are obsessed with and focused on length and hair goals and making our hair do things we see others do. We forget to enjoy the little successes and failures, the things our hair can do, the experience. We are so focused on other things that we forget to enjoy the moment”
That’s why I will never understand people who ALWAYS have their hair in a protective style to protect their hair and gain length. Why bother when you can’t enjoy the hair you protect and the length you’ve gained because your hair is always covered up.
I’m not innocent as I explained earlier. Many times I allow length to rule my thoughts and I look at my hair with disdain because it’s not as long as I want/expect. Thinking about it, my standard of length is based on other people’s hair. I forget that my hair is most probably different from theirs and that I am on my own journey. I forget to enjoy the experience. 
This quote really made me think. It applies to so many things in life. 
We let our goals, both self imposed and those imposed by society, cloud our minds so much that we forget about enjoying the moment, enjoying the experience, enjoying the journey, enjoying life.
If you are like me and you are guilty of not enjoying the experience (whether it’s hair, work, school etc) for any reason at all, let’s all hold hands now and scream “I repent!!!!”.


21 thoughts on “Goals versus the experience

  1. Personally, I’ve enjoyed my hair a lot over the past four years so I’m off the enjoyment train till I hit some length I’ll be comfortable with. I don’t obsessed about protective styling for length, never. I use protective styles because when I see a style I love, I go for it. I don’t do styles with the intent of protecting; usually as a break too from daily manipulation.


  2. Its funny you say this because I am about to be 15 months post relaxer and was on youtube looking up 15 months post relaxer trying to see if my length looked like other peoples length. Forgive me Jesus lol


  3. I know right!
    My sister is newly natural and keeps saying “ehnhen was your hair like this at six months? Hay my hair will be a year soon why is it still this short?” I keep explaining that my struggle is different from yours, hair growth differs from person to person.
    I have a constant reminder within myself (yes I talk to myself a whole lot lol) when I see someone with the same “age” of my hair but with more density and length.

    Bookie Kunlere


  4. Pingback: Two year nappiversary!! | Nigerian and natural

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